Because of religious intolerance...

I had the day off school!

Oh dear.

I've just finished writing my latest English paper. In doing so I've made an astounding discovery. Everything I've written this year (with the exception of my short story... but there is still time to change that) has been about how the main characters of all these works are suffering from some kind of existentialist crisis and life has no meaning. I fear I may be getting predictable.

VOTE MUNGER FOR NC GOVERNOR!

Also...

... be sure to vote in Minatory Swimmer's first ever blog poll!

In the meantime...

I know it pains you all that I don't write as often as I perhaps should. So, to help ease any withdraw symptoms you may be experiencing I give to you: http://groovo.org/

This is a nifty little player run by the extremely good looking people over at trianglerock.com. I'm a fan of local music and find this to be a great resource for bands and upcoming shows. The player is updated every weekish, so be sure to check back for new stuff often!

Fairness...

I ragged a little on Joe Biden in my last post, so I guess it is only fair I make a little jab at Sara Palin.

“It is from Alaska that we send those out to make sure that an eye is being kept on this very powerful nation, Russia, because they are right there.”

Yikes! Are you sure they speak English in Alaska?

It has been a while....

I know that I didn't finish my last series of blogging, and probably never will. Suck it up.

To make up for my prolonged absence, I bring you amusing articles!

The first on here is from Reuters, which is always good for a laugh... article here. Summery quote:

An underdog in Sunday's election for governor of Bangkok punched and kicked a television journalist Thursday, saying he was provoked by tough questions during a live interview.

What would America have done if Sara Palin had just decked Katie Couric halfway through that interview instead of sputtering her way through it...

But let's step away from politics for a moment here.

Now, I could write a nice witty passage right now leading into the next bit of news I want to share, talking about how, in light of politics and the elections, we sometimes lose sight of the people that really contribute to our society. But, I'm not going to. Instead, I'm just going to tell you that it's time for this years Ig Nobel prizes to be awarded! Check out the official website here. Previous awards have gone to:

• Karl Kruszelnicki of The University of Sydney, for performing a comprehensive survey of human belly button lint -- who gets it, when, what color, and how much.
• Karl Schwärzler and the nation of Liechtenstein, for making it possible to rent the entire country for corporate conventions, weddings, bar mitzvahs, and other gatherings.
• Jack Harvey, John Culvenor, Warren Payne, Steve Cowley, Michael Lawrance, David Stuart, and Robyn Williams of Australia, for their irresistible report "An Analysis of the Forces Required to Drag Sheep over Various Surfaces."
• Robert Faid of Greenville, South Carolina, farsighted and faithful
  seer of statistics, for calculating the exact odds
  (710,609,175,188,282,000 to 1) that Mikhail Gorbachev is the Antichrist.
  [REFERENCE: "Gorbachev! Has the Real Antichrist Come?"]

I love all of these parody awards, one day I hope to own a Golden Raspberry Award for bad film work of my own.

And finally, does anyone know if "It has" can be abbreviated "It's"?





OH! and Quote of the Month: "When the stock market crashed, Franklin D. Roosevelt got on the television and didn't just talk about the, you know, the princes of greed. He said, 'Look, here's what happened.'"

Haha, Joe Biden.

Tennessee Trip: Days 2&3, Pt. I

I'm tired, but really want to give you a good analysis of days 2&3, so you'll have to wait for part II for any real substance. I forgot my camera connector thing, so all I have from my trip at the moment are the following two pictures taken off my phone:
Taken Just before the Toga party and...

This... a real life White Castle, taken in Nashville this afternoon. I also saw a Mellow Mushroom in downtown Nashville. I hadn't realized that there were others... though it is possible the Nashville and Raleigh versions were not affiliated. The Nashville one was different looking... I wish I had been able to snap a picture of it.

Tennessee Trip: Day 1

I'm currently writing from my hotel bed in Murfreesboro, Tennessee... a lovely city and #84 on Money's 745 best cities to live in list.

There is very little to say about the trip thus far... got to the airport without incident... has some disappointing Caravel soft serve... slept on the flight... got a rental car and all that nonsense, it was all very easy. The two most exciting bits I suppose were me getting stopped and yelled at by security because I ran through the metal detector and I had my phone in my pocket and our cool waiter at Outback. I got grilled pineapple and he was a very nice guy, a student, and Ron Paul supporter. I also made a tower out of the coasters on the table.

In more interesting news.... Barack Obama runs for public office in Brazil... six of them actually. Article Here.

A Victory for the Minatory Swimmer

Today I accomplished a feat that none has dared before!

I went and entire day at school BAREFOOTED... and got away with it! None of the authorities said a word to me about it... not one! It was beautiful.

Unfortunately it was cold and rainy today, so my poor feet were a bit chilled by the end of it, but it was worth it.

I really want a pair to red Chucks... sigh...

A Quick Thought About the Election...

In browsing the headlines and news tags, one can't help but be assaulted by hundreds of mediums saying, in effect, "OOO! SHE DID THIS!" or "THIS IS WHAT SO-AND-SO SAID ABOUT HIM!"

It makes me wonder... who do they think they're writing to? I think what is happening is more preaching to the choir than anything else. They're writing for an audience that already agrees with them, and audience to will read their articles and say "YEA, SEE!?! I TOLD YOU!?!". They're not going to convince anyone like this... the people that oppose their views are just going to stick up their noses and launch another "But your candidate did this!" and nothing will have been accomplished.

I feel sorry for the people who have yet to make up their minds. It must be incredibly boring/ frustrating.

A Victory for the Penguin!

There is a lovely article in today's N&O. I particularly like Dr. Munger's statement on the last page, speaking to those who might feel a vote for Munger is a "throw away" vote. Article Here.

Swimmer's Gotta Eat Too Man!

As anyone who watched the Olympics at all this year probably has a pretty good idea, by way of Michael Phelps, as to how much a swimmer must consume to survive.

This is the best defense I can give for Kirsty Coventry, who recently took 100,000 USD from Zimbabwean President Bobby Mugabe. In case anyone has been in a coma the last few years, here is a little taste of the current situation. Price Controls and other idiot moves have pretty much left the country's currencey worthless and their economy in shambles.

But don't get mad at Kirsty. Get mad at Mugabe. For many things. Not just this. But also for this too, because if you can shell out 1ook to an Olympic swimmer, you ought to be able to throw a little bit of that towards not killing the rest of your country. Story here.

Intro/Two Party System Biases

Hola, I'm Garland as Rachel so graciously described in her previous post. Although, she did forget some of my previous incarnations such as Howard Hughes, Richard Franklin Lennox Thomas Pryor III, and of course, my most famous stint as Martin Luther King Jr. I have tried to spread fair independent ideology throughout the ages which i will continue with on tonight. The libertarian party, recognized as a legitimate third party as well as the largest political party outside of Democrats and Republicans, has been prevented from putting their candidate, Bob Barr on presidental ballots in Oklahoma and Pennsylvania. In Oklahoma, a lawsuit was filed due to its restrictive ballot access rules, which "are contrary to the First Amendment right to petition one's government for a redress of grievances."(Bob Barr Wiki Page). Also in Pennsylvania, the issue lies with the GOP filing a lawsuit to prevent Barr from taking his rightful place on the ballot; they claim that the Libertarian Party waited too long to place his name on teh ballot. The hypocritical notion of this is that in 2000, when Bush lobbied unsuccessfully to get McCain's name off the primary ballot, McCain said of the situation, "I would never consider, ever consider, allowing a supporter of mine to challenge Governor Bush's right to be on the ballot in all 50 states." Now, how is this any different from challenging Bob Barr's right to be on the ballot? And why challenge it? Because he filed it past the deadline. However, the Democratic and Republican Party have not even submitted their packages to be on Texas' ballot and by the own logic of the GOP Party, McCain's name should not be on the ballot there as well. Also, there is a lot of debate, about just that...the presidential debates and whether or not Bob Barr should be allowed to participate in these debates. Why should a legitimate political contender in the presidential election not be allowed to participate in debates and get his party platform and help get the main parties to adopt parts of their politicies? Over 70% of independents polled say that he should be allowed to take party, and a majority of Republicans and Democrats agree as well. This country needs more of a challenge to the two party system if we are to maintain any kind of political integrity and more importantly, to get more and exceedingly diverse ideas and solutions to our nation's problems.

我們歡迎你！！

I would like to take this time to official welcome my dear friend, partner in crime, Minatory Swimmers personal poet and now co-blogger, Garland, to Minatory Swimmer.

A brief Biography:

Garland has always been. It is possible to trace his many incarnations throughout history. From that little mishap with the dinosaurs, to helping integrate baseball as Jackie Robinson, Garland has left his footprint on the course of existence.
Famed for his great, and sometimes dangerous, sense of humor, Garland made perhaps some of his most lasting impressions as the great wit, author and printer, satirist, political theorist, politician, scientist, inventor, civic activist, statesman and diplomat, Benjamin Franklin and in perhaps his most famous avatar, Yeshua , sometimes known as Brian, the prominent early CE carpenter and stand up comedian. Due to some unintended consequences, Garland does not like to talk much about the former persona, but if you are interested, a biographical film may be found here.
As for his most recent incarnation... well, I'll let him tell you about that. To be sure his poetic accomplishments ( see Theodore Seuss Giesel) and numerous other talents will be a marvelous addition to this establishment. We are lucky to have him.

Change of Plans

I originally planned on writing a lovely piece on censorship (or Censorshit as I like to call it) and the Chinese censors recent infatuation with website blocking but got halfway through and lost interest. So instead I give you this, which is much more entertaining:



In other news, cable.

Recently we just got our cable "upgraded". We did not ask for this upgrade, I believe I speak for my entire household when I say that we were perfectly happy with our old cable. This new "upgraded" cable however, is crap. It keeps on restarting itself, taking several minutes out of program watching and deleting things off the DVR. I would like to take this time to express my great displeasure with Time Warner Cable and with the government. I know it is more convenient to have a cable monopoly but I can't help but feel like we would get better and cheaper service if the consumer had more choice. There was an article in the paper about the numerous complaints the companies have received regarding the new service, but thus far nothing has been done to fix problems. We are not amused.

On a happier note, OLYMPICS!

I have yet to decide whether or not I want Phelps to make history... I keep going back and forth on the issue. All I know is that holy crap!?!?! Where did the Chinese Women's 400 Free Relay come from?

It's Bastille Day 2008!

Surrender your puny native minority languages and Donnes-moi tes chaussettes. Maintenant!

The Midwest is a Lovely Place!

I had an excellent 4th of July vacation, partying it up with the family! I also went on a college visit to Carleton (the alma mater of a lot of my family) and learned some sweet things about the Midwest!

First I learned that the people on the Northern Peninsula of Michigan talk cool! The various Midwest accents have always made me happy. They also remind me a bit of Welsh accents. Anyways, one of my cousins told me about this movie and I kind of have to see it... just watch the trailer.



Also.. Ice Shantis.

Apparently they are far cooler than I originally realized.

They have these festivals that are kind of like the Burning Man of the Northern Midwest. Well, not really... but it is still pretty cool!
More pictures here.

The Carleton visit was cool... I really liked the atmosphere of the school. I don't know if I could handle the weather though. In the words of the admissions officer: "We only have about 2 weeks of life threatening cold here..." O_o!

(PS, the robot is an ice shanty, the picture just was not cooperating with me...)

Oh, It's On!

I am not a confrontational person. I rarely get in fights or arguments of any kind. Now, admittedly, this is not because of my sweet, pacifistic nature. It is because most of the time I don't care.

Well now I do.

SUBJECT VERB AGREEMENT PEOPLE!!!

Spending a week in hell (aka, Tar Heel Girl's State) really opened my ears to problems of this nature. At first I figured the problem stemmed from idiocy. I then scolded myself and decided that it must have to do with either poor education or linguistic backgrounds rooted in nonstandard English.

But then I spent a week with my family in Wisconsin.

AND THEY DO IT TOO! These are well educated affluent people! WHAT HAS THE WOLD COME TO!?!?

Now, in all fairness it isn't all the time. In fact, it is only one very specific situation. Maybe two, depending on how you look at it.

And that situation is as follows:

"There is" or "There's" followed by either a plural noun or a series.

It drives me mad.

I was explaining to one of my cousins how this was a pet peeve of mine and he asked me to give an example of a subject verb agreement mistake. I did and he look at me and asked, "That's incorrect?" I wanted to cry.

As the week went on I noticed that almost everyone around me made these mistakes at one point or another and I now have two additional theories as to why this mistake is so prevalent.

• With this particular construction the subject follows the verb so the speaker does not consider it when conjugating the verb. He/she speaks one word at a time instead of considering the sentence as a whole.
• We love contractions. "There's" is easy to say and rolls off the tongue with ease. "There are" on the other hand is awkward and difficult for some people to say without disrupting the natural flow of speech. I myself tend to say something closer to "Thererrr" when talking with family and friends.
  

I think what really put me over the edge on this particular issue was an article in the economist. I'm not even sure what it was about... Mugabe I think... some issue that made me angry to begin with. But what really got me fired up were 5 grammar errors I found, including one "There is/are" subject very agreement mistake.

So I have decided to declare war on the improper usage of "There is" and "There's".
I beseech thee, JOIN MY CAUSE! Whenever you hear someone make a "There is/are" mistake, please correct him/her!

Disclaimer: I know my grammar is not perfect, and I'm sure you could find plenty of mistakes made be me, but for the most part I think I do pretty well by the English language!

Also, I kind of wish that English had a neutered 3rd person singular article. I am always saying "they" when I know I should say "he or she" but I just can't help myself!

Mwahahaha!

So, I'm pretty much on a blogging roll here.

I just got an email from a coach wanting to know when would be a good time to call and talk to me.

So, like a good college student hopeful I went to the beacon of knowledge known as Wikipedia to learn more.

Found out the basics... nothing too appealing, Roman Catholic Affiliated, 4,000-ish undergraduates (a few more than I would like), dark blue and gold colours.

But then I saw this.

A college with a master plan? I don't even care what it is, the fact that they are calling it "the Master Plan" is beyond cool. Sign me up!!