Paned Emits

Let's take a walk down memory lane. Freshman year. Health class.

I was but a small, sickly girl and somehow the subject of massive flu epidemics was raised. A friend of mine and I decided it would be hilarious to predict how we were to die. We predicted I would die of a massive flue pandemic in the year 2010 and that he would die in the year 2012 for reasons I don't remember.

Let's fast forward three and a half years.

OH MY GOD, IT'S HAPPENING.

Maybe.

They're saying that over 150 people have died in Mexico... which sounds doubleplusungood to me. Except that no one outside of Mexico has died... and I don't quite understand why. Either way, they're pulling out the state of emergency stuff right and left and then telling people not to panic... which makes me turn my head in an inquisitive way. Mexico itself has pretty much shut down, it's ridiculous to read some of the reports coming out of there about the streets of Mexico City being empty. Which is only a little impressive until you realize that Mexico City is the second largest metropolitan area IN THE WORLD.

So yes, I'm quite interested to see how this all pans out. If any of you are interested, below is a copy of my Riddley Walker story which has a subject matter closely related to current events (which is totally coincidental... has nothing to do with the fact I wrote it this morning...)..

1.Mr. See De See wer every 1s Pot of Carry. Ben ther a chyld coffin or a woman done vomitit Mr. See De See myt wud go with a pot. That for them a rum for him. He done al right and the worl lookit him with re spekt. He make the sic wel and it ben a good sistem.
2.1 day Mr. See De See done seen 2 siclins in 1 day. He seen lots of siclins in lots of days but this wont no mal sicnes. This been a baddy that kylt folk. Sarz he callit and he tol the worl of it.
3.The worl was afeart wen he tol of Sarz but got careful for lots more kylt folk. Only acturely ther wer no lots more kylt folk. This got the worl mad at Mr. See De See, he done made them afeart for no raisen.
4.The worl said to Mr. See De See, 'You get moren a nuff a rum dont make us afeart for no raisen or well not give you no more.'
5.Mr. See De See wernt afeart of the worl. The worl and Mr. See De See had a good biz and no1 wud mes with him.
6.Then ther been a bloke he come to Mr. See De See with big Trubba. He and his woman and babbys al sic. His naminals been sic as wel. His nay boars been sic as wel. Every form he been a familyer of been sic.
7.Mr. See De See seeit this as big Trubba and he quick telt the worl. The worl worket quik and made pre pear rations for the A V In Flew paned emit. Lot of folks wer starvling and and freazing col from not wanting to go any wher for ther afeartnes of the A V In Flew. Hoal forms got kylt be cause no1 wud et ther naminals or crops.
8.This got the worl very mad. A V In Flew kylt les than col and starvling. The worl tol Mr. See De See, “Wer tired of your paned emits. You shunt mes with us like that. You been hy on power and a arum.” Stil folk went to Mr. See De See with ther sic folk.
9.The worl and Mr. See De See wer al right til al the babbys started turning sic. 1 day it was 3 then ther wer 9 then ther wer 27. Mr. See De See helpt some but givet some to Aunty
10.The folk yelt, “Our babbys! Why are you al cozy with Aunty now? Save our babbys! Tel the worl thers a paned emit!”
11.Mr. See De See sed “You dint want my help las time or the other 1. You yelt at me. Aunty and me got an under standment. She re spekts me and what I do for her.”
12.So the babbys of the worl kept goin to Aunty. Aunty likes babbys for she dint have none of her own. The worl was in morning and kept going smaler with out Mr. See De See to help. Thats why they been so weak wen Mr. Clevver got power.

No ovens for buns
My story is done

One of the more quirky things about the Australian grocery stores.

http://www.eco-banana.com.au/index.html

Heading to Australia tomorrow!

Yay! I'm taking off tomorrow! So like any good traveler, I'm checking up on the planes that I'll be traveling on!

Well... really just one. I've never been on a 747 and that is what I'll be taking from LAX to New Zealand (I think). The layout and other pictures seem nice enough, and my sister Courtney said the flight over there was nice enough, so I am hopeful! Below is an excpert from the wikipedia pages on 747-400s

Notable accidents and incidents

• On 23 July 1999, a man hijacked All Nippon Airways Flight 61, a 747-400D airliner bound for New Chitose Airport near Sapporo, Hokkaidō from Tokyo International Airport (Haneda). The man killed the pilot. Other crew members restrained him, and the airliner landed safely.^[18]
• On 31 October 2000, Singapore Airlines Flight 006, a 747-400 flying on a Singapore to Los Angeles via Taipei route rammed into construction equipment while attempting to take off from a closed runway at Chiang Kai Shek International Airport, caught fire and was destroyed, killing 79 passengers and three crew members. The accident prompted the airline to change the flight number of this route from 006 to 030 and to remove the "Tropical Megatop" livery on the accident aircraft's sister ship.^[19]
• On 31 January 2001, Japan Airlines Flight 907, a 747-400D bound for Naha International Airport from Tokyo International Airport, nearly collided with another Japan Airlines aircraft. The 747 pilot suddenly dived and narrowly avoided the oncoming DC-10. See 2001 Japan Airlines mid-air incident.^[20]
• On 12 March 2003, Singapore Airlines Flight SQ286, a 747-400 departing Auckland, New Zealand for Singapore suffered a serious tailstrike on take-off causing major damage to the tail section of the aircraft. The airplane returned safely with no fatalities reported.^[21]
• On 25 July 2008, Qantas Flight 30, a 747-400 bound for Melbourne Airport from Hong Kong International Airport, made an emergency landing at Ninoy Aquino International Airport in Manila, Philippines with a gaping hole in its lower fuselage forward of the starboard wing; the aircraft lost a fairing. No one was hurt.^[22][23] After ruling out terrorism, authorities focused on the possibility of an exploding oxygen bottle from the emergency oxygen supply system.^[24] This theory was confirmed as the cause in an interim report issued by the Australian Transport Safety Bureau.^[25]

Far from finding all of this frightening, I think it it rather encouraging that all of the accidents were from something other than a major intrinsic design flaw. Yay!

I am officially better than Prez Obama

... at picking NCAA men's Basketball Brackets.

Mine: http://games.espn.go.com/tcmen/entry?entryID=969855

His: http://games.espn.go.com/tcmen/entry?entryID=2813746

Sweet!

Really?

"Really?" was all I could say when I read this story from Yahoo. It is quite possibly the most upsetting thing I've read all year. No joke. And here is why:

They joked about the Russian misspelling of "reset" on the button before sitting down at an oval table with aides. "We worked hard to get the right Russian word. Do you think we got it?" Clinton asked. "You got it wrong," said Lavrov, telling her "Peregruzka" meant "overcharge."

How do you screw that up? Does the State Department really have NO ONE fluent in Russian? On the flip side, it appears my services may be in high demand for the future...

ACHOO!

So the one good thing about being under the weather is that I get a chance to sit down, relax with a box of Kleenexes and read the newspaper.

This article in particular I found to be interesting.

And now I would like to juxtapose (a word I have never used before) that article with an excerpt from an article on the American Heart Association's website (source):

In February 2007, two new bills were introduced in Congress designed to give the FDA authority to regulate tobacco products: HR-1108, sponsored by Reps. Henry Waxman (D-CA) and Tom Davis (R-VA), and S 625, sponsored by Sens. Edward Kennedy (D-MA) and John Cornyn (R-TX). The American Heart Association and several other health organizations support this new legislation.

Yes, putting more responsibility on the back of the FDA sounds like an excellent idea now, doesn't it? There are many, many, MANY things terribly wrong with this bill, but when we have peanut butter and syringes killing people, things that are 1) under the watchful eye of the FDA and 2) specifically NOT supposed to kill you, do we really need to have the FDA "protect" us from something that EVERYONE knows is bad for you?

I would like to think my father for the tip off about the article.

Before I Forget...

I'm angry at NPR for three things!

1. The other day I was listening to some lady interview a guy from scope that wrote an article that talks about all the benifits of having a Facebook. He was a very nice guy and made a very nice case for the website, citing all the poeple it has enable to reconnect with and refuting the ideas that it makes you antisocial. The interviewer kept on asking him really hostile questions and he responded very civily. I thought it all a bit odd... why are you getting hostile about Facebook? (side note: this story had nothing to do with the changes in the terms of use, the whole FACEBOOK NOW OWNS YOUR SOUL DEAL that has a lot of people upset) At the end of the interview the womans said thanks blahblah (I don't remember his name) you tried hard. I don't think you convinced anyone, but you made a good effort. At this point I was like, WHAT A BITCH!
2. I was listening to the news on the hour the other day and right in the middle of it they switch to another programme! NOT NICE.
3. And then there was something else as well... I don't remember what though. But trust me, it was bad.
   

I Wish English Class Was More Like A Dinosaur Comic!

(Click on the picture to make it bigger)

I love that we are doing poetry now... Dr. B is going to be in for a surprise when he reads my next poem analysis!

Not Another Post About Michael Phelps!

My feelings towards the Phelps have been well documented on this blog. And I assure you, they remain largely unchanged. HOWEVER, I would like to publicly say that I don't blame him for letting his hair down a bit.
Swimmers are in large part (yours truly being one of the very few exceptions) party animals. A friend of mine who met an NCAA champ butterflyer (butterflier?) on a recruiting trip came back and told me "I didn't know one person could drink that much." So the Phelps isn't the only swimmer with less than Mother Teressa-ly conduct, and that's without factoring in the fact that he is a young man (albeit a freakish, dumb, fast one).
Not only that but I don't think people really understand what his life is like during serious training. Sure, they're all seen the human interest pieces about the billion waffles he has to eat a day or whatever, but they really don't understand the true meaning of "Eat, Sleep, Swim". Being restricted like that... it is understandable that he would go a bit crazy once he got his freedom. It happens to a lot of people, not just swimmers.
The Phelps is a simple man (the idea of successful swimmers being simple is a theme I've been meaning to write about, but haven't quite gotten around to). Do I think going out and partying, bong and all, is stupid and a wast of time and energy? Yes. But so is wasting your time watching MTV or being a creationist. Yes, I did just equate being a creationist with taking a hit off a bong, in fact being a creationist is dumber in my opinion. I actually don't think that smoking pot (though the practice has never appealed to me) is that bad, so long as you don't allow it to take over your life.
So Yeah... I had a point in that last paragraph somewhere... but I've forgotten it. Summery:

1. I still don't like the Phelps but the whole bong thing doesn't really affect the way I look at him.
2. This kind of thing could have happened to about +75% of the college population... except they're not world class swimmers, so get over it.
3. Swimming is very demanding.
   
4. Pot shouldn't be illegal.
5. That other point I was going to make but forgot.
6. Creationism is stupid.

And in honor of that last number I present to you, a picture of the Phelps... looking like Jesus.


Freak.

Seperated at Birth?

Japanese art and Olympic swimmer Matt Grevers.

0_0

So... this article caught my eye today and it has me worried.

And it isn't really the story itself that has me worried. It's what the author has to say at the end about college professors in general. If it is true then gods help us, but I'm kind of counting on it not being so- at least where I'm going. I shudder to think what would have happened to this woman had she tried to teach like that at charter...

I'm eighteen and I LIKE IT!!

A Minatory Swimmer Special: What does Wikipedia say I can do now that I'm eighteen?

In many parts of the world, 18 is the age minimum for purchasing tobacco and alcoholic beverages. It is also the voting age in many countries. During the Vietnam War, Americans could be drafted at an age as low as 18, but were not allowed to vote in most states until they were 21. A movement spread to lower the voting age, and in 1971, the Twenty-sixth Amendment extended a guarantee of suffrage to anyone 18 years or older in all states. The voting age was lowered from 21 to 18 in the U.K. and many other nations around that time.

Eighteen is also the age in many countries at which a person may appear in a pornographic video, or express legal consent to sexual relations with another.[citation needed]

In addition, eighteen-year-olds in the United States have the right to bear arms, own property, marry without parental consent(in almost all states), get an abortion, donate their bodies to science, and serve on a jury.

In the United Kingdom, eighteen-year-olds can purchase tobacco, alcohol and pornography, go to war, vote, and model for pornography; (but the age of consent is 16).

In many countries 18 is the age of majority.

In many states the age at which one can obtain a learner's permit without parental consent.

Minimum age at which one can be admitted to rent or buy an MPAA-rated NC-17 movie. This is also the age at which one can see an NC-17 rated movie.[citation needed]

Minimum age at which one can play, rent, or buy an ESRB-rated AO game.

Minimum age at which one can buy tickets to an 18A rated film in Canada without being accompanied by an adult. Ratings in Canada are provincial, so they may vary. A film can be 18A in some provinces and 14A in other provinces. A film can also be 18A in some provinces and R in other provinces. 18 is also the minimum age at which one can view, rent, or buy an R or an A rated movie.

Minimum age at which one can buy, rent, view, or buy tickets to an 18+ rated movie in the Canadian province of Quebec.

Minimum age at which one can get a full driver's license in many U.S states and Canadian provinces.

Minimum age to drive a car in many countries in the world. See also: 18 certificate, Coming of age

Minimum age at which one can legally buy marijuana in the Netherlands.[citation needed]

In the United States, it is the minimum age at which one may get a body piercing without a parent present.

Life is going to be interesting from here on out...

Also, as you can see, I've decided to go back to the old layout. Three factors influenced this decision.

1. The blog really needed some color.
2. Most of the posts with big pictures that the wider layout better accommodated are old by now (just like me).
3. The narrower layout makes it look like I write more than I actually do!

O_o!

I like poetry, despite every attempt by English class to make me hate it. And to prove to myself and everyone else that I'm not lying to myself so that I feel more cultured, I have posted a poem that I rather like below. So take that!

The Cockney Amorist

By John Betjeman

Oh when my love, my darling,
You've left me here alone,
I'll walk the streets of London
Which once seemed all our own.

The vast suburban churches
Together we have found:
The ones which smelt of gaslight
The ones in incense drown'd;
I'll use them now for praying in
And not for looking round.

No more the Hackney Empire
Shall find us in its stalls
When on the limelit crooner
The thankful curtain falls,
And soft electric lamplight
Reveals the gilded walls.

I will not go to Finsbury Park
The putting course to see
Nor cross the crowded High Road
To Williamsons' to tea,
For these and all the other things
Were part of you and me.

I love you, oh my darling,
And what I can't make out
Is why since you have left me
I'm somehow still about.

Egy nyelv sosem elég!

So, after a rather depressing Saturday (just hop on over to espn.com if you want to know why, hockey, football, any of the articles will do... or if you prefer, google Bev Purdue, it's enough to make a grown man cry.), I decided that a little blogging was just the thing to cheer me up!

I came across this rather interesting article today.

Basically, Eric Crafton of the Nashville's Metropolitan council has introduced a measure to make English the official language of Nashville, effectively barring the government in Nashville from using any other language.

This I find to be a bit needless and silly. I can't imagine a situation where a politician would go around speaking a language no one else could understand just for kicks. They (yes, I am using the third person plural as a gender neutral singular pronoun!!) need votes to keep their jobs, so why would they use Spanish or Afrikaans if their constituents or clients don't speak it? He does mention that he "happened to see a state legislature meeting in California where several of the state representatives had interpreters at their desk because they couldn’t speak English" and I must admit I'm a bit skeptical of this claim. It just doesn't make sense that someone who wishes to become a part of American Society and the political process would fail to learn English. It's pretty useful in case you haven't noticed. Also, I've have found no evidence to support his claim elsewhere on the internet. If it isn't on the internet it must be false, right?

My point is that we aren't danger of having the North Carolina State Legislature (yes, I know Nashville is in Tennessee, I'm just using North Carolina as an example) conduct their proceedings entirely in Malay. Though, now that I think of it, it would be an excellent way for the government to dupe the masses... not that the masses are paying much attention anyways... sigh...

But since I don't think this post is long enough yet, let's assume for a moment that it is true. California has some legislators that neither speak nor understand English satisfactorily. So what? Yes, it may be a bit cumbersome, there are plenty of other countries that deal with multilingualism just fine. Let the representatives pay for their own translators if they must, and get over it.

I also wonder if Mr. Crafton considers American Sign Language to be English or not...

And now for your viewing pleasure:



In case any of you were wondering, he isn't actually speaking Hungarian... it's just gibberish.

A légpárnás hajóm tele van angolnákkal!!!

你們好！It's story time!

In my previous post, I mentioned something about etiquette for athletes. I imagine the rules are largely unspoken and common sense- things like don’t trash talk your coach or your teammates, be congratulatory of the other teams efforts, etc. Anyways, all of this got me wondering about codes of conduct in other professions… professions like teaching. Take for example the story below (I’ve already told you about this Jessie):

It was a dark and stormy end of second period; dark because Dr. B had the black curtains covering his windows, and stormy because 老師 (my Chinese teacher) and I were at odds. We were having a bit of a disagreement about Chinese poetry and the benefits of teaching it to students at our level. I was most frustrated by archaic nature of the vocabulary and the total lack of grammatical structure in the poetry and didn’t see how it was supplementing my knowledge of the language. Older Chinese poetry is highly structured and abstract… and when I say abstract, I mean really abstract. It is basically a bunch of characters thrown together without any regard for necessity of verbs or prepositions (rather, they’ll be there, you just wont know it because there are no inflections in Chinese and word order is so important in telling you whether something is the direct object or the verb or an adjective or a measure word, and so on) to give the poor reader any inkling of what’s going on. Now, to be fair, if I had a little better grasp of the language I might be able to extrapolate some meaning because I would know all the different connotations and denotations behind the characters. But I don’t. And it is very frustrating. And there is no grammar!
Anyways, back to the story. So 老師 and I were arguing about this, and she is talking about how this is the way that poetry was written back then and that we see this kind of blatant-disregard-for-grammar-style in English too. This stumps me, so I ask for an example. She then proceeds to talk about how there is no grammar Shakespeare. About this time I notice poor Dr. B (my English teacher) behind us listening to our conversation, about to have a stroke. I realize that there is no changing老師’s mind and I proceed to thank her and head to my next class before it became necessary to call and ambulance for Dr. B.

Now, I think this story illustrates a conflict in traditional teacher codes of conduct. 老師 was obviously giving me some bad information regarding Shakespeare. Of course Shakespeare observes rules of English grammar! His structures may be a bit twisted at times and his language difficult to understand, but grammatically his works are sound. 老師, a non native English speaker, didn’t catch this but it is something that Dr. B, an English teacher, would have known and preached. So in this situation, what was Dr. B to do? Should he say something to老師 and risk embarrassing her in front of on of her students or should he keep his mouth shut and allow this kind of misinformation to run rampant? Luckily for him, I know my way around a few Shakespearian works, so I caught老師’s gaffe rather easily, though I chose not to say anything to her about it. I think that knowing me and knowing that I would probably not be taken by老師’s assertion that there is no grammar in Shakespeare factored into Dr. B’s decision to stay silent. But what if he hadn’t known me, or hadn’t known that I wouldn’t be touched by the misinformation? It is a tricky situation, but I would hope that he would have stepped in and said something eventually. It may not have been wise to have done it just then when 老師 was standing right there, but I see little harm in setting the record straight once she was out of earshot. And perhaps his position as a teacher of English and native speaker would have been enough to escape offending her. I don’t know. Any thoughts?

A Quick Amendment

A conversation with my mother today made me realize that I probably need to clarify something about my previous post.

I DO respect what The Phelps has done. I'm not saying that he has been able to breeze through life and then wake up one morning, decided he was going to win 8 gold medals and then voila! No, it took a great deal of sacrifice and early mornings in the pool to get him to where he is now, and I respect him for that.

More of the message I was trying to get across in the previous post is that I think he has a bit of a complex... almost "Holier-than-thou" like. There is an etiquette pertaining to athletes when dealing with the media. Anyone that watches a great deal of sports interview will know that. And I think that Phelps might be trying to work with this, might be trying to be an inspirational figure, but I still think he is smug. I've also heard from some people that went to USA swimming Olympic trials that he is a bit full of himself, so there! I swear I'm not falling victim the fundamental attribution error or confirmation bias or any of those other pretty terms we've learned in AP Psych this year!

Speaking of school, it starts back tomorrow. Sigh...

Phelps

So, in case you aren't swimming savvy (what a great word... savvy, hehe, two v's), that isn't really Milorad Čavić and Phelps didn't really give him the finger and what not. I decided to put a bit of humor in this post, because the rest of it contains very, very, very dark subject matter.

The Phelps.

I know that he has perhaps done a great thing for swimming. Putting our sport into the spotlight for once, and winning 8 gold medals, blah blah blah. That's all find and dandy. What isn't fine and dandy though, is the publicity nonsense that has come with it. The talk shows, the book... all of that. All of the things where he touts his hard work and effort; No, I'm not doubting that it took hard work and effort. I'm doubting the second part of his claim, that anyone (by anyone I mean the average Joe... or even the above average Joseph) could equal his feat if they put in the same hard work and effort he has.

I'm sorry Sir, but you need to stop lying to yourself. You are a FREAK OF NATURE. Not everyone has a 201 cm wingspan, or size 14 feet, or a freakishly long torso or any of the other ridiculous number of natural attributes in their favor. He is without a doubt the second... I'm giving first to Ms. Natalie Coughlin... most talented swimmer of our era- if not ever. He can't just gloss over that fact they way he is doing now, it isn't fair to the rest of us. There is no way I could equal what he does, with my 5'4" 135lb frame and duck feet, no matter how hard I worked.

He is also a cocky little jerk that needs to be brought down a few notches. I'm banking on people like Milorad Čavić and Cseh László to bring Mr. Phelps' head back down to size.

Legos

When I was but a youngling I played with Legos and they looked something like this...



And I built things that looked a bit like this...



But welcome everyone, to the 21st Century of Legos!



My little cousins big presents this year were all Lego related. And I must admit, I was a bit jealous... they've some sweet Lego projects. Apparently, Legos are no longer the giant box of little tiny 2x2 or 2x3 or 2x whatever sized blocks. Now they're full on architectural mini projects of wonder, complete with color instruction booklets and all the blocks necessary to build the Taj Mahal completely out of Legos. My youngest cousin got some kind of Anti-Terrorism mobile airplane thingy and his older brother got this robot that you build and can program from the computer. It's all kind of amazing to me.
The only little tiny problem I have with this new generation of Legos is that it kind of take some of the fun of creativity out of the mix. Sure, my Lego creations never came close to the splendor of the Lego Eiffel Tower you can buy on Ebay now for $180 USD, but I had fun in conceptualizing my own designs for spaceships or houses and then coming up with a totally unique (plus some other adjectives... abstract, ugly) final project.
But on the flip side, I suppose this teaches them how to follow instructions and all that fun stuff. Plus they seem to enjoy it and my mother seemed to enjoy helping them find the right pieces, so I'm not going to complain.

A quick post on Atheism

Watch the video from 1:3o on.

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

The Word - The Unbearable Lightness of Supreme Being

Colbert at Christmas
Colbert Christmas DVD

Green Screen
Bill O'Reilly Interview

Text from the sign:

At this season of THE WINTER SOLSTICE may reason prevail.

There are no gods, no devils, no angles, no heaven or hell. There is only our natural world. Religion is but myth and superstition that hardens hearts and enslaves minds.

I'm not sure how I feel about this sign. While I think that they should absolutely have the right to put it up, I question the wisdom of doing so. It comes off as a bit hostile. There are ways and means to achieve converts and equality, but this is not it. It will just create outrage.

Dinosaur, post 2

And now for the big question:



Dinosaur or Cleopatra?

I was talking to my mother last Friday after taking a shower and the conversation went a little like this:

Rachel: This head towel thing makes me feel like a Dinosaur.

Gwen: You look more like Cleopatra.

Rachel: Cleopatra? She didn't go around with towels on her head, did she?

Gwen: I don't know... someone back then did I'm sure.

So which is it? You be the judge.

Cleopatra